It's my birthday, but why do I feel so sad?

For many of us, birthdays are supposed to be the highlight of the year, a celebration of existence, laughter, and being in the company of people who care about us. But for a growing number of young adults, birthdays bring something far more complex: sadness, anxiety, hollowness. The term for this? Birthday blues.

When celebration feels hollow

For Sanjida Ahmed, who just turned 23 on July 1st, this year's birthday brought a mix of emotions. "I didn't feel excited at all in the days leading up to it," she says. "I kept thinking, what am I even celebrating? It felt like just another day where I had to pretend to be happy because that's what's expected."

Despite receiving warm wishes and even spending quality time with close friends and family, she couldn't shake off the weight she felt. "I didn't want to seem ungrateful, but something just felt off. I didn't feel like I had achieved enough this year. I kept thinking about where I thought I'd be by 23."

Why do Birthday Blues happen?

There's no single reason, but birthday blues often come from the gap between expectation and reality. As kids, birthdays meant parties, gifts, and joy. But as adults, they can bring up heavier questions: Am I where I want to be? Did I do enough this year? Why don't I feel happy even with all these wishes?

For Ms Sanjida, turning 23 felt less like a celebration and more like something she had to get through. "Everyone around me seemed excited, but I felt numb. I kept waiting for that birthday feeling to kick in, but it never really did."

Social media only made it worse. "Everyone else's birthday looked more exciting. I felt like I was missing something." But not everyone feels this way.

Tamim Talukdar, a 26-year-old professional, still looks forward to his birthday every year, despite a busy schedule. "I love it. I start getting excited a week before. I dress up, order good food, and meet the people I love." He believes the joy comes from making time for celebration. "Even if life is hectic, we deserve one day to pause and feel special."

While some, like Sanjida, feel anxious about growing older, others, like Tamim, see birthdays as an opportunity to slow down and reflect with gratitude. And for many, our feelings about birthdays may shift over the years, depending on our mindset, circumstances, and emotional state.

The Gen Z dilemma

Today's young adults carry more than just the weight of adulthood—they're navigating economic uncertainty, identity struggles, and hyper-curated digital lives. In this context, turning a year older isn't just about age—it's a reminder of time slipping by, often without the clarity or milestones we expected.

"There's so much pressure to have everything figured out," Ms Sanjida says. "To graduate, get a job, look amazing, and post about it all. When you fall short of any of that, birthdays remind you."

Paradoxically, birthdays can feel even lonelier because of how public they've become. "You get all these texts and posts, but it can feel robotic," she reflects. "Like, do they even really care? Or are they just following the social ritual?"

Birthday blues don't always stem from neglect. More often, they come from internal conflict, self-doubt, or the quiet fear that time is moving faster than we're ready for.

Breaking the myth of the 'Perfect birthday'

So, how can we handle birthday blues more gently? First, release the pressure. Not every birthday has to be big, Instagram-worthy, or life-changing. It's OK if the day is quiet. It's OK if you feel low.

Second, validate your feelings. You're not ungrateful or weird for feeling sad on your birthday. Emotions don't always follow a calendar.

Third, redefine what a meaningful birthday looks like. For some, it might be a gathering with friends.

For others, it could be a day of solitude, journaling, a walk through nature, or even volunteering. Celebrate in a way that reflects who you are now, not who you were ten years ago.

Normalising not being happy on our birthday

In a culture obsessed with joy, milestones, and photo-worthy moments, it takes quiet courage to admit that birthdays aren't always happy. Growing older is complicated. Life is messy. And you're allowed to feel however you feel.

So if you've ever spent your birthday crying in the bathroom, scrolling through everyone else's 'perfect' celebrations, or wondering why something feels missing, you're not alone.

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